service today was great and memorable.
2 important people in my life came to receive christ (:
which is my cousin , simin and my son zijie [:
praise god. worship during service was awesome, have a great sat (:

i realise that i have been wearing mask infront of my friends, i would want to be a great friends to them. And i just wouldn't reject any request from them because to me , they're happy so do i.
i'll do anything they would ask me to even to help them and i'm more then willing. Even when i'm hurt in certain areas, i would keep it to myself. That's who i'm infront of others. Why ? why will i want to be such a good jiahui infront of others? because i want to have the friendship and not lose everything. but i guess no point wearing the mask yet everything will still come to the end and people will not look at how good am i ? removing the mask and be who i am will be better because i'll not born to please others yet i'm suffering deep in my heart and my heart breaks into pieces. it's really painful , really terrible . please understand how i feel and not hurt me once more.

3 more days to my Big day. Which is chinese o'level. It is like damn fast. i'm very worried for it. Recently is like super stress of many stuffs. But i want to take this time to thank the people who tell me their opinion and thanks for trying to make me smile (: Truly appreciated.
I really don't want things to turn this way. I know that i may be young to you. There is a certain age gap. But that doesn't mean i'm childish. that doesn't mean i'm lousy in helping people . That doesn't mean i don't understand what you're going through. please don't think in your own perspective only. Others don't think this way. There's alot things i would want to say. But the main thing is no matter how you treat me, i'll still treat you the same. This is my point of view. As for you, hope that your heart wouldn't be that heartless ba.

god, i pray that the comfirm visitors for westbone will not ps us last minute. Father, i pray that when they come , touch their hearts and they will not feel bored in the service. God i pray that service tml will be a success one(:

It's you , its you, its you. I hate you deeply. You brings my life into a upper level and brings it down to the lowest level. You treat me well at times and treat me like hell at times. You say you love me , like as if you really love? Because of you , how many times have i teared? Teared cause of anger, teared cause i'm very sad. I feel so mixed up by what am i suppose to do. My heart breaks into pieces. What am i suppose to do next? end it? Or am i suppose to hold it on alone? My friend, you did it by ruining a little part of my life. Tears flow down my cheeks. My heart hurts alot. I don't know what's the feeling ..it's like !@#$%^&*()*&^%$#@!@#% . I want to shout , i want to say many things. I don't know how to put it to words. sighh ): Decided to let go this friendship after 4years? This decision is the best? I don't know what to do.

back home after sending Joyce back.
Tomorrow still chinese from 8am to 2pm.
God, give me strength.
one more week and there it goes ):
worry for it ):

God will make a way
God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strengh for each new day
He will make a way
He will make a way
By a roadway in the wilderness
He'll lead me
Rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and eath will fade
But His word will still remain
And He will do something new today

God please make a way for me):
rather confused now.
I know now w/o God, sure die.
I don't have any idea how am i going to do this paper.
): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ):

when will i meet you again ?
i don't know ?

Finally back to update after so so long.
Just finished examinations BUT o'level chinese is coming.
pretty worried for it . It determines whether i go up to sec five anot.
God please bless me.
I learned from my devotion that God is my strength.
Whenever i'm down , deep in my heart i know that God you're there.
No words can describe how good are you to me.
Thank you very much.
today service, i also learn that i cannot let my emotion take control of me.
my life will be ruin if i allows my emotions to take control.
PRACTICE GOD'S BEST.
i don't feel like doing things that God thinks is best for me , the more i must do.
practice and i can control my emotions.
i cannot always feel this and that.
But do what god thinks is best for me .
unstoppable camp is coming !
i bet i'll be renewed by god.
prepare my heart right before going.
to learn something that changed my life.
i want back the passion for people.
God , please give me the passion .
I ask of you to help me to have a compassionate heart.